What Do We Do with the Space When Our Kids Grow Older?

There’s a particular phase in motherhood that no one really prepares us for. It’s the stage where our children no longer need us the same way they did. They’re growing, becoming independent, and beginning to carve out their own space in the world. While this is a testament to the job we’ve done as mothers, it also comes with its own set of emotional challenges.

For many of us, it's not just about letting go or giving them their space—it's the realization that we suddenly have space too. Space that was once filled with the daily responsibilities of caring for them is now open, and for some, this can feel like a giant, gaping, void. The loss of being needed can leave us asking, "What do I do now?"

This question, honestly, can really be uncomfortable. After years of defining ourselves as mothers, it’s hard to remember who we were before or imagine who we can be now. But here’s the beauty of this moment: it’s a blank canvas, a chance to rediscover parts of ourselves that have been waiting in the wings.

So, what do we do with this space?

1. Embrace the Change
   Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel a sense of loss. Grieve that phase of motherhood while welcoming the opportunity for growth. This is the start of something new, and that can be both exciting and scary at the same time. Whatever you do, don’t let scared win.

2. Reconnect with Yourself
   This is your time to rediscover who you are outside of being a mother. What passions or interests have you pushed aside? Now is the perfect time to explore them. Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, investing in your health, or starting a new career, this is your time.

3. Build a New Community
   As your kids build their independence, it’s important to strengthen your connections with other women who understand this transition. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you during this time.

4. Create New Rituals
   Just because your children need you differently doesn’t mean your role is over. Create new traditions and ways of bonding with your older kids. Their need for you will evolve, and you can be part of that journey in a new way.

The space left behind by our growing children isn’t empty—it’s a space waiting to be filled with new possibilities. It’s a journey of self-discovery and growth, one that many women are navigating. So let’s step into this space with curiosity, with hope, and with the belief that the best is yet to come.